During a recent trip to the mall, I was taken aback by a mother-daughter shopping team. I could hear them before I saw them, even though the little girl could not have been more than 8 years old.

As I listened to the little girl’s series of disrespectful rants and tantrums, I was reminded of a commercial for the reality series “Toddlers and Tiaras.” If you have seen the show’s preview, you have a picture of what I was looking at.

I remember as a child when “No” meant “No.” There was NO negotiation. As a matter of fact, just “the look” could shut it down real quick.

As this episode in the mall continued, my feelings changed from disbelief to being saddened by the situation. This mother had lost all control.

When I heard the words “You don’t tell me what to do,” every childhood memory I had came rushing back. If I had dared to disrespect anyone like that, there is a chance I may not be writing this article today!

The sad thing is that this behavior is being tolerated in a number of households. So many parents are parenting in the moment, not thinking in terms of future men and women. And some are settling because it’s easier to say “yes.” After all, it takes time and commitment to make the point stick.

Without proper mentoring and accountability being poured into their lives, these disrespectful, self-centered, can’t-deal-with-No children will meet us in society, on our jobs, in our schools, in our stores and restaurants, and in our households, just to name a few.

Proverbs 22:6 says: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

The Bible also speaks of double-mindedness. If “no” is the answer, “no” is the answer -- non-negotiable. Wavering sends the message that “no” is flexible, that if a child pesters his/her parent enough, then “no” will become “yes” and the child will have won the battle (but sadly have lost the value of the lesson).

As parents, I believe there is no greater career than providing a road map for our children – a map that will steer them around many problems into adulthood.

Let’s not let them down. Believe it or not, they are waiting for the lesson. Remember, they are children who are dependent on you to show them the ropes. Allow them to live a child’s life full tilt.

Lastly, keep them in a child’s place. They need not be involved in “grown-up” conversations and/or activities. Remember, they are processing information differently and most often will want to try and do and say what you do and say. After all, you are their parent.
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Tanya is an inspirational speaker and author based in Charlotte. Friend her on Facebook or email her at tw360you@aol.com.
 

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