In the movie “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” Angela Bassett, a.k.a. Tina Turner, boldly headed into divorce court seeking to end her abusive relationship with Ike.

“I am clear, I am leaving with nothing, but I still have my name,” she told the judge.

We are known by our names. It is how we are identified. Some names are more recognizable than others, but nonetheless our name belongs to us.

It amazes me how some folks show little or no concern about the defamation of another’s name. Gossip and slander are tossed around as if they have no impact. What happens from there is a snowball effect.

Shhh. Can’t you hear someone saying: “They told me not to tell, but did you know that...?”

Of course, we all know that if someone says “They told me not to mention it, BUT...,” you can almost bank on the fact that it will be repeated with all the extras.

Believe it or not, speaking things that are untrue about a person is considered slander and could be subject to legal action. What may be thought of as harmless chatter and entertaining gossip can cause irrevocable harm. The person being talked about could miss out on a job opportunity, a relationship, an approval, etc.

I remember an aunt of mine who was on the phone nonstop. As kids, we thought the receiver was affixed to her head. Her conversations always had a trademark opening “Gurl, let me tell you…” (Well, maybe that was just in my family…….giggles.)

I know my aunt would never knowingly hurt anyone, but the reality is that often we don’t think we are hurting anyone when we listen to -- or even worse, repeat -- slanderous gossip.

I like the way it appears in Proverbs 10:18: When we slander, we are acting as a fool. Can’t get any plainer than that. Or, you may have heard an old saying “Loose lips sink ships.” Either way, the point is made.

The next time you are faced with being in a situation where gossip is taking place, give some of these suggestions a try.

• When approached with gossip, quickly begin to share the positives that you know about the person or the situation.
• Location, location, location! Workplace cafeterias and break rooms, classrooms, the telephone and church -- yes, church -- are common places for gossip. When you see someone approaching who is a known gossiper, steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go.
• Have the courage to tell the person you don’t enjoy slandering by gossiping. Remember, you are more than likely one of their next topics.
• Lastly, “hmmm” is such a powerful response. Follow up with, “I don’t really know much about..., so probably it’s best I don’t comment.

Whatever your remedy, don’t be afraid to use it. Awareness is key. If we are aware and practice avoidance, we can stop this harmful behavior.

I’m heading out the door now. I think I’ll wear my “Just Say NO to Gossip” T-shirt.
***
Tanya is an inspirational speaker and author living in Charlotte. Friend her on Facebook or email her at tw360you@aol.com.

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