I went to a prayer breakfast hosted by the women's ministry at my church a few weeks back, and it was quite the eye-opening experience.

I always enjoy church, but it was the time we spent discussing sex, dating and relationships in a non-judgmental, open and honest way that truly left me surprised -- pleasantly. Having been born and raised in the Bible Belt, I have noticed that my fellow Southern Belles are seldom comfortable speaking freely about men, as if the conversation will somehow diminish the feminine mystique or pollute one's good Christian values.

So, yes, it was very cool to have a roundtable discussion with women of various ages, marital status and socio-economic levels. We were able to have a real conversation amongst ourselves (and in the house of the Lord, no less). And unlike some other discussions I have had of late with my other friends (frustrated professional women in their late 20s and early to mid 30s who have yet to find "the one") I actually took something useful away from the discussion.

I learned something important: That it’s okay to want what I want. It is okay to have high standards and, yes, it is okay to be high maintenance. Uh huh, I can see some of y'all shaking your heads now, but it is true; high maintenance is where it’s at.

Women (and many men) spend so much time settling for less than they deserve in an effort to be accommodating, appeasing and even politically correct.

One of the speakers at the prayer breakfast said it best. If you want something, be specific and direct when asking God for it, including the kind of person with whom you want to share your life. She also made the point that in order to know what you want, you have to know yourself.

Sometimes, from fear of being alone, many of us will settle for a relationship or encounter that isn't quite what we wished for. We have to stop doing that. Why is it so wrong to set your sights high? Who is to say that your expectations are unrealistic, especially when what you want and need in a relationship is a question that can only be answered from within, truly.

I am proud to be high maintenance, because for me, high maintenance means less drama. It means that I will patiently wait for a mate with my "must-have" and "desirable" qualities. I refuse to settle for less when I can just wait for the best. It's like flying coach when you’ve been upgraded to first class.

I'm worth at least that. Aren't you?

Jameka S. Whitten is a hopeless romantic, (semi) regular blogger and Owner/Principal Publicist for JSW Media Group (www.jswmediagroup.com). Her personal quote and motto comes from Cecil B. DeMille, "Creativity is a drug I cannot live without." Follow her on Twitter @JamekaShamae for constant updates on everything from veganism, social activities to just general random thoughts. Never a dull moment.
 

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