D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat. Her column is published here each Tuesday. Opinions expressed are solely her own.

My husband, Mike, has once again waited til the last minute to buy my Christmas gift.

And now he sings his annual don't-wanna-get-out-in-the-crowd-at-the-mall song. It goes something like this: "Don't get me anything for Christmas. I don't need anything. It’s just a waste of money."

Then comes the second stanza: "I don't know what to buy for you. Maybe I can just give you the money and you can buy what you want for yourself."

This year I finally let him have it! After calling him an overgrown spoiled Grinch, I reminded him that I put up all the decorations. I cook all the holiday food. I am tasked with buying gifts for our family and friends. It seems to me that it shouldn't be too hard for him to buy a gift for one person. Especially since he has had 30 years to study and learn what she likes.

Beside that, our family decided years ago that we can return the gifts we don't like without any hurt feeling from the buyer. So if he gets it wrong, I can always take it back to the store.

I was tempted for a minute to let him off the hook. If I let him give me money, I can shop for what I really want and catch the after-Christmas sales -- could probably double my money by waiting.

Besides that, on a recent visit to the mall, while trying to get an idea of what to give me, Mike showed me a gaudy, red blouse that makes me think I should probably accept his offer and save us both the trouble.

I already have his gifts. The one that he will like best is an old movie he has been talking about for years. It is on VHS and I had to shop Amazon to get it. It is used and only a few are available, even online. He will lose his mind when he sees it.

Well, I want the same experience. I want my man to listen to me. Notice me. Learn what I like and what I don't like. To me, a gift from a partner is a tangible expression of your knowledge of the receiver. It says to the receiver, "I took the time to really see you, to know you, and here is something I believe you will like."

Sometimes the gift will be a reminder of old times, like that red-and-black, lacy Frederick's of Hollywood concoction he came home with once. He was obviously remembering the Barbara of yester-year. Thank heavens the bra was underwire and the lace was sewn low enough to hide the cellulite. But what a thrill to know that he still sees me that way.

Sometimes you will be wrong. The gift will be the wrong size or color. Or sometimes the energy and vim you see in your partner may express itself in a hot pink pleather short coat. In those cases, a return may be necessary. But at least you tried.

So I won’t take the cash. I am insisting that he get out there in the crowded mall with the whinny children and the tired shoppers with long lists and few dollars. Walk the aisles till his toes are numb. Find the gift that says to him, "That's my girl!"

The child in me wants a gift. The woman in me wants the same.

Just keep the receipt.

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