As we approach Mothers Day, I thought of the impact my surrogate mother, “Big Momma,” had in my life.

My birth mother died when I was 8, so my aunt and grandmother -- Big Momma – jointly raised me. Although Big Momma did not have a college degree or even a high school diploma, her wisdom and intellect left a lasting imprint.

She used the simple language of her time to convey some of life’s most basic truths:

“It don’t have to make since, ‘cause some things are just going to be my way,” she often said.

Translation: I’m the adult, so my word is law.

My cousins and I laughed because many of those sayings didn’t make sense to us. Yet today, I smile as I find myself repeating then to my own child.

So, in honor of Big Mamma, I offer some of her favorite sayings (translations attached):

“Don’t fatten the frogs to feed the snakes.”
Helping someone only for them to be taken advantage of by others as a result of your help.

“Can’t pour urine out of a boot, even if the directions were on the heel”
Not being able to perform the simplest of tasks

“I pay the cost to be the boss.”
If you pay all the bills, then your word is Law

“Tell the truth and shame the devil.”
By telling and standing on the truth, you make the devil a liar.

“Let your ‘yeas’ be your yeas and your ‘nays’ be your nays.”
Give a firm answer and stick by it

“Every goodbye ain’t gone and every closed eye ain’t sleep.”
Never assume. Trust, but always verify.

“If you’ll lie you’ll cheat; if you cheat you’ll steal.”
If you can justify lying, you will justify cheating and stealing.

To all the Big Mommas out there, thank you for helping to raise your grandchildren from boys to men and girls to women. Thank you for instilling in us a sense of pride and tradition.

Help honor the Mother, Big Momma, Nana, G-Momma, Granny, Grandmother or female who raised you by submitting some of the terms of endearment they used when you were a child. And don’t forget, translation, please.
***
Victor Earl lives in Charlotte.

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