D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat. Her column is published here each Tuesday. Opinions expressed are solely her own.

America has lost another music icon. The death of the beautiful and beloved Ms Whitney Houston has, once again, left us stunned and grieving for an amazing talent gone too soon.

Much is being said about the cause and circumstance surrounding Ms. Houston's death. It is being speculated by many that her untimely death was drug-related. And though the coroners report may be days or weeks away, given the star’s history and previous admissions, it appears likely that drugs will have played a part.

Yet while we speculate over the cause of Whitney Houston's death, there is little speculation over what caused the chaos and destruction of her life. We all watched, with morbid fascination, her descent from fresh-faced starlet to magnificent diva to out-of-control addict.

We blamed the "bad-boy,” Bobby Brown, naming him responsible for her problems with drugs. We blamed the burdens of fame. We blamed her Hollywood handlers that seemed bent on showcasing their "product" without regard for her well-being.

Yet, while there may be some measure of blame that legitimately rests with Bobby Brown and with Hollywood, the greatest responsibility for her life most certainly rested with Whitney Houston. When I read some of the online comments posted on various websites, the word I see being screamed loudest - above all others – is "CHOICE."

Whitney had a choice.

Choice is the opportunity to decide. Choice is the chance to make the best decision based on the information we are given.

Whitney Houston was given an amazing talent that earned her enormous fame and wealth. She had access to money and resources few of us are privy to. It seems so simple...

She could have walked away from Bobby Brown, Hollywood or fame if that was what it took to secure her health or sanity. She could have chosen to be healthy if it meant leaving any or all of them.

She could have checked herself into the best rehabilitation center and stayed for as long or for as many attempts as it took to regain sobriety.

It is reported that Whitney tried to sober up - several times checking herself into rehabilitation centers, the last time as recently as May 2011. But her decision to experiment with drugs, then to ignore the admonitions of those who loved her best, allowed her habits to take hold, eventually leaving her vulnerable to forces that were beyond her ability to control.

Many of us remember the game show “Lets Make A Deal,” where contestants were given a prize then offered a chance to trade it for what might be a bigger prize hidden behind curtains or under boxes. The contestants were given no information about what was behind the curtains, and many times when the prize was revealed it was worthless.

For Whitney Houston, drugs were the prize behind the curtain. Whitney was given an extraordinary gift and could have chosen to say "Enough" and walk away. When she made the choice for the curtain, she was left holding the "prize" that would destroy her family, her career and may have cost her her life.

The difference between the game show and real life is that, in real life, if we listen, we are usually given information about what is behind the curtain.

We know that drug and alcohol abuse destroy lives. We know that the combination of the two can be lethal. We know because we have seen them destroy the lives of family members and friends. We have witnessed them take the lives of many others -- Marilyn Monroe, Dorothy Dandridge and Elvis Presley and lately, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson and now our Whitney.

Whitney Houston will forever be remembered for her vocal range and ability. She will become known, through time, as a legend. I can’t help wishing she had chosen wisely. I can’t help wishing she were still here - alive and healthy. Able to mother her daughter. Able to sing if she could but alive to enjoy the fruit of her labor and the glory of her life's work. Able to grow old.

My final thought comes from the made-for-television saga, "The Thornbirds." The words, written by Colleen McCullough, sum up my feelings about Whitney Houston's life and struggles and the challenges many of us face as we attempt to maneuver this course called life:

“There is a legend about a bird which sings only once in it's life, more beautifully than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one. Then, it impales its breast on the longest, sharpest thorn. But as it is dying, it rises above it's own agony to out-sing the Lark and the Nightingale. The Thornbird pays it's life for that one song, and the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles, as its best is bought only at the cost of great pain; Driven to the thorn with no knowledge of the dying to come. But when we press the thorn to our breast, we know... we know."

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