My 24-year-old daughter, for the fist time ever, neglected to buy a Fathers Day gift for her dad.

When my husband opened his card, I waited for some small token to drop out.

There was nothing.

The card was beautiful and heartfelt, but I was upset enough that I called her on the carpet about it.

My husband has certainly been a wonderful father to our children. I know our daughter loves him dearly. There was, in my mind, no acceptable excuse for her not sending him some token of her love on Fathers Day.

Her excuse was that she didn't know what to buy for him, and the item she wanted to get cost $50, which she didn’t really have at the time.

I reminded her that she had the money for her boyfriend’s birthday, their anniversary, a new pair of shoes, and a recent trip to Vegas with her best girlfriends. Yet, when time came to honor poor Pop, she "ain't got no money.”

I told her that in the future if she can’t get a gift for her father, then she should also not send one for me on Mothers Day.

It came to me only later that I, too, was guilty of ignoring dads at Fathers Day. I didn't sit long enough to allow myself to be inspired to write a Fathers Day piece -- something that publicly speaks to the love and respect we feel for our fathers.

For that, Fathers, I sincerely apologize.

It seems rather easy to forget about dads. Athletes often yell, "Hi, Mom" when the cameras turn their way. Moms are universally celebrated, loved and cherished.

We hear so much about the deadbeat dads. The absent fathers. The babydaddies.

We tend to forget that there are many, many fine men who give themselves fully to their roles as dads. Men who change diapers, dry tears. Men who fix broken bikes and scraped knees.

We too often forget to say thank you to the fathers who talk to teenagers about the birds and the bees. Men who work long hours to put roofs over heads and food in stomachs. Men who plant dreams in their children... dreams of having better than he has… dreams of choices and opportunities.

We too often forget to thank the fathers who go behind the house and cry -- who then come back with their faces straight and with a plan to fix things. Men who shoulder the burdens of bills and broken cars. Men who cut the grass and occasionally our butts.

Men who say things like, " Go ask your Mama," "No daughter of mine will go out of here in a dress that short," and "Boy, pull up those pants."

Men who live their lives in such a way that their sons can observe and learn how to be real men and their daughters know what kind of men to choose.

Men who wear suits. Men who wear uniforms. Men who wear coveralls. Men with callused hands and sweaty brows. Men who sacrifice. Men who wear the title for Father proudly.

Fathers. Stepfathers. Grandfathers. Foster fathers. Men who stand in for fatherless children. My salute to you is not lessened by its lateness.

You are, too often, the unsung hero.

And as I have chastened by daughter, I am also chastened. I neglected to say it to you on your day, dads, but you are not forgotten.

You are loved. You are appreciated. You are honored.
***
D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat.
 

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