D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat. Her column is published here each Tuesday. Opinions expressed are solely her own.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Hunphries. Seal and Heidi Klum. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kobe and Vanessa Bryant. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Terrence Howard and Maria Fernandez. Sandra Bullock and Jessie James. And also rampant rumors of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett ...

Celebrity marriages are falling faster than presidential candidates after a Republican caucus.

It seems like every other day, another celebrity marriage is ending. And, as always, we hear the same old reason (irreconcilable differences), the same old claim (the divorce is amicable and we still love each other), and the same old request (please respect our privacy during this difficult time).

While some of the splits were, to say the least, expected, many of us have been surprised by the demise of some of these "fairy tale" unions.

I would be tempted to feel smug that my own marriage has lasted these 28 years … except for the knowledge that there have been times in our marriage that, if either Mike or I had enough money, we also would have left.

We need to begin to tell the truth folks: Marriage ain't no fairy tale!

When we stand before the preacher to recite our vows, all dressed up in our wedding finery — blinded by the love and passion we feel — we are, likewise, deaf to the promises we really make. We believe we are marrying for better, richer, and in health. We forget that we also are marrying for worse, poorer and in sickness.

Marriages aren't made in heaven. And though sometimes we would argue differently, they are also not made in hell. Rather, marriages traverse the rocky roads between heaven and hell ... sometimes better, sometimes worse; sometimes richer, sometimes poorer; sometimes sick, sometimes in health.

The trick to staying married is to spend more time in heaven than in hell.

So what does one do when he/she feels trapped in a marriage that is worse, poorer and sick?

For us the answer was marriage counseling. My husband insisted on a counselor with a Ph.D. I insisted on a Christian counselor. We found a counselor that had both.

In counseling, we were able to talk about our hurts and pains. And as we were guided through numerous exercises designed to identify our core issues, we were given tools to help us better communicate and work through our issues involving control and respect for individual differences. Through counseling we were able to forgive each other and pull our marriage back from the precipice of divorce.

There is the temptation to feel ashamed that we had to see a counselor to save our marriage. It’s kind of like going to the gynecologist when something hurts you "down there." We resist the thought of having to reveal our most private selves in that way. But when it hurts too long or it hurts too bad, you forget the embarrassment and make the call. And no matter how bad your “stuff” may look, an experienced doctor has seen it all a thousand times and has the knowledge to help you get better.

A wise person once said: "If nothing changes, nothing changes."                                 

We each went into counseling each blaming the other. We both left personally changed.  

Mike and I stayed together during our rough patches often because we couldn’t financially afford to split up. Our society can also not afford to trivialize marriage and divorce, as so many celebrities seem to do. When marriages fail, I believe our society is weakened, and eventually we all pay a price.

A troubled marriage in the hands of a good counselor can be saved.

There are only a few things that I really believe in and recommend — marriage counseling is one of them.

Mascara, tampons and epidurals are a few of the others ... but those are for some other blog, some other day.

Sign up for our Weekly Email Newsletter Email: For Email Marketing you can trust

Other Ways to Share Twitter Del.icio.us MySpace

Discussions and Submission Agreement