I almost caught the swine flu.

I was having headaches and decided to visit a nearby pharmacy that advertised a "minute clinic" staffed by a nurse practitioner.

The clinic was small, only one room with a few chairs crammed close together. Only one seat was left so I signed in and took it.

I soon noticed an old man sitting next to me. His face was flushed and he had a cough. Needless to say, I moved over. I also tried to stop breathing until I was sure the air was clear of his germs. But when I began to feel lightheaded and the room grew dark, I figured his germs had passed and it was once again safe to breathe.

His chart was on his lap, so I tried to grab a quick peek. I wanted to see what symptoms he had, wanted to know if I would need Tamiflu.

Visions of hospitalization danced in my head.

And that’s when things really got scary. Suddenly I realized that I was in a PHARMACY!

In a CLINIC!

The place sick people go to get help.

Germs were everywhere. On the doorknobs. On the pen I used to sign in. On the chair I was sitting in. On the counters. In the very air I was breathing.

I started to wonder how many swine flu carriers had been in that place that day. How many were in there right then! I could hear the music from every horror movie I’d ever seen playing in my head as the specter of swine flu crept closer...ever closer.

Pretty quickly the two people ahead of me were called and then it was my turn. I was ushered into a small examination room. The nurse practitioner took my blood pressure and temperature. I wanted so badly to ask if I could buy my own thermometer. How many H1N1 mouths has this thing been in? What if the plastic covering has a hole in it?

I could feel the germs invading my mouth. I knew I was doomed.

The practitioner checked me quickly, wrote a couple of prescriptions, charged me $60 and sent me on my way. She gave me a coupon for $5 off the price of anything in the store, except prescriptions.

Now I had to stand in line with other infected people to have my prescriptions filled. My paranoia was at its peak. They might have all been mummies, or zombies. I cast a quick look to see what diseases they might be carrying. I needed to know how close to stand, wanted a chance to run if they made a sudden move toward me.

Some looked feverish. Some were coughing. Some seemed to have no symptoms (probably in the early phases). Someone in the corner by the blood pressure cuff sneezed. My head snapped around to avoid the stream of germs I knew were zooming my way.

Back in my car I found an apple I had tucked away. All that ducking and dodging had left me hungry. The apple was halfway to my mouth when it hit me – THE GERMS! They’re in my car, on my hands, on the apple, on the steering wheel, on my purse.

I've been watching for signs. I sneezed once today. I might have felt a little tickle in my throat, but I drunk some water and it seems to have gone away.

This blog won’t be as long as some I’ve written. I'm gonna turn in early tonight. Ya know, sick people need their rest.

D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County and now lives in Orange Park, Fla.

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