Like many of you, I have been following the trial of Bishop Anthony Jinwright and Pastor Harriet Jinwright. I thought my secret guilty pleasure of watching Fantasia For Real was drama, but the Jinwright trial is an absolute hot mess.

Is it just me or does this have all the makings of one of those ghetto fabulous gospel stage plays?

Cue Announcer: Coming to Ovens Auditorium the hit gospel stage play, "I Can't Afford the Weekly Church Tithes, So I’m Putting My Salvation On Lay-Away.”

Starring Regina Belle and the dark-skinned brother from Shalamar as Pastor Harriet Jinwright and Bishop Anthony Jinwright.

Announcer: "Come experience and witness the testimony of a church struggling to help its spiritual advisers keep up with the Joneses while cooling the church with box fans and parking the church van at the Bojangles down the street, to avoid the repo man."

Pastor Jinwright: What do you mean we only took in $240 from last week’s car wash, bake sale and catfish fry? How am I going to purchase Prada with that?

Announcer: See how a finance administrator and deacon, played by Stacey Lattisaw and Johnny Gill, juggle church finances, choir practice, tax evasion, vacation Bible school, an angry congregation and parking lot ministry.

Bishop Jinwright: I need a wider parking space for my Benz! Make it happen!

Insert Lattisaw and Gill’s obligatory music clip "Where Do We Go from Here?”

Announcer: You have got to see this play! Bring yo Momma, bring yo friends, bring the entire family, but most important, bring yo checkbook, because these pastors are saving souls, but not for free!

Back to the trial: What is up with all of that money for vacations?

This is why so many people turn away from organized religion. And before you church folks start spitting Bible verses at me like MC Leviticus, I said organized religion, not God. We sometimes forget that even if we have a spiritual adviser we are ultimately responsible for our own spirit and can have a relationship with God without the middle man.

I remember my mother telling us to gather our coats and leaving during a service where a minister said he wanted $100 from every family in attendance. She was a single mom and thought that was just crazy and insensitive. It is unfortunate that many churches are tainted with monetary greed rather than a true commitment to community service.

I know we are living in difficult times, so Professor Locs has 10 tips that might help you determine if a church is putting the hit on you financially:

1. There is valet parking out front.
2. There is a $10 cover charge at the door but free before 10 a.m.
3. They pass a collection plate that only takes twenty-dollar bills.
4. There is a VIP section that serves Krystal Mimosas.
5. To hear the soloist you must purchase headphones.
6. The choir director puts out a tip jar before the musical selection.
7. You notice that the praise dancers are the same backup dancers from Beyonce's last tour.
8. You are sitting in the nose-bleed seats watching the service through opera glasses, yet they are talking about a building fund.
9. The minister is delivering the sermon via a Skype connection from Las Vegas.
10. You are moved in the spirit and, after some very robust shouting and praise, you are again seated in your pew but notice there has been a bill pinned to your blouse for "Usher Management Fee."

People, God loves you, with or without a substantial 401(k) plan. Keep reading and sharing.
***
Professor Locs describes himself as an African American, gay, Southern male who has had an extensive career in higher education Click here to read his blog.

Sign up for our Weekly Email Newsletter Email: For Email Marketing you can trust

Other Ways to Share Twitter Del.icio.us MySpace

Discussions and Submission Agreement