D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat. Her column is published here each Tuesday. Opinions expressed are solely her own.

My 37-year-old girlfriend was invited to a football game by a man she has recently met. The man is a student in her advanced studies class and she describes him as very nice. When I asked her if the man is someone she could possibly be interested in, she responded, "Uh, no, he’s too ugly."

We debated a while over what really matters when one chooses a mate. She insisted that you can't fall in love with someone if you aren't attracted to them physically.

I countered that if you like the spirit and the personality, you can grow to love someone you don't find particularly attractive physically.

My friend is a very attractive woman -- tall, dark and with a good figure. She is well educated and says she wants to marry if she can find the right guy. She is open minded and dates across the spectrum of race, so I was rather surprised that she would close her mind to a fine fellow simply because of his looks.

The next day, as I listened to my favorite morning radio show, the DJ congratulated Beyonce and Jay-Z on the news of their impending child. Then commenced to speculate on how the baby might look. The crew disintegrated into laughter when it was suggested that the expectant father "looks something like a camel."

Are we really that shallow, folks? Do looks matter so much? If the Prince Charming who  rides up on a white horse looks a little beastly, do you turn and run or do you give him a fair chance?

Most of us have so many requirements that must be in place before we find our perspective partners acceptable physically -- tall, dark skin, light skin, "good hair," round bottoms, nice legs, muscular arms -- it’s a wonder we ever connect with each other.

And too often, when we do connect with Mr. or Mrs. Oh-So-Fine, we live to discover that their personalities have been spoiled by the attention and adoration of their many admirers. It seems to me that exceptional good looks and exceptional good character are seldom found in one body. And any lasting relationship depends much more on character than it does on beauty.

A wise woman once said, “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if they are lit from within."

When my siblings and I were dating, my wise old Dad reminded his children that beauty fades, that what really matters is what’s inside. Does he possess real strength and honor? Can he make you laugh? Will she stick with you when the going gets tough? Can he control his temper?

Having said all that, I, like most women, would not look away if Morris Chestnut strolled by. And when I daydream, it ain't Jay-Z that I see. But when I think about the real world and real relationships with real men, I know that what my brain thinks about my partner is way more important than what my eyes see.

I watched the awards show the night Beyonce and Jay-Z announced her pregnancy. And there was Chris Brown, all dressed in white. Built, buff and beautiful. Yet I could hardly see the beauty of his face for being reminded of the brutal attack he inflicted on his former girlfriend.

And there sat Jay-Z -- maybe looking a little "camelish" -- but beaming at his wife and his love, his face awash with happiness as she showed off her expectant belly for the first time.

In that moment, I found him truly beautiful.

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