Editor's Note: D. Barbara McWhite grew up in York County, S.C., and lives in Orange Park, Fla., with her husband and cat. Her columns is published on this website each Tuesday. Opinions expressed are solely her own.

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New York has done what seems to me to be inevitable in this country’s evolution: It has made gay marriage legal.

While many gay and lesbian Americans celebrate the New York decision, many heterosexuals are outraged over the ruling, claiming that this country is literally going to hell for its continued moral erosion.

Last week, Charles Easley, aka Professor Locs, wrote a column on this website asking the question, "Why are some so fearful of gay marriage?” While I normally respond to this gifted writer’s work, last week I didn't respond because I was afraid.

What was the reason for my fear?

I tend to walk gingerly on the subject of homosexuality because it is an area where my views on the subject clash with the biblical tenets I have been taught all my life to believe. I, like most other Christians, I was taught that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and if one believes the whole Bible then one also must believe that homosexuality is a sin.

So my fear is, if I support gay marriage, at best, I will dishonor my faith...or at worst, I will be struck by a lightening bolt or something.

Yet, I also believe that for many gays and lesbians, their sexuality was decided in the womb, just as it was for heterosexuals. And I have witnessed the self-destructive behavior of many gays and lesbians when they attempt to deny their sexuality while attempting to conform to what society says is "normal." I also have seen the news reports recently of the emotional and mental distress and the needless loss of life when gays are outed, harassed, bullied or demeaned.

I am not a Bible scholar, and I won’t try to quote scriptures when defending my position. I will say, however, that there are many verses in the Bible that, when juxtaposed against today’s thinking, are, at face value, outdated. Who among us believes that "slaves should obey their masters" or that "the disobedient son should be stoned?"

I only know that I have gay friends and relatives who are very dear to me, who bear no resemblance to the caricatures that are too often depicted in jokes and sitcoms. People with dignity. People of honor and faith who want to give and receive love by way of permanent unions.

And I know that it’s time for African Americans, both familial and community, to begin to more fully embrace our gay brothers and sisters. The "down-low" brothers and sisters should feel free to come out of their closets, knowing that they will be fully accepted and allowed to hold respected places in our communities.

So I sit on the fence. I don't know what is right concerning gay marriages. I only know that the greatest commandment is to "love one another." And I know that the more I read and understand the Bible the more it convicts me of my own sinfulness.

And I decided years ago -- back when one of my boys was a 2 year-old and walked around the house with his feet in my high-heels -- that if one of my children was indeed gay, that I would love that child still. That I would not force them to live a lie. That they could come home -- and bring their loved one.

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