Mecklenburg commissioner Vilma Leake said she will ask the board to censure fellow commissioner Bill James, who on Tuesday called her dead son a “homo.”

Leake, who spoke with Qcitymetro.com by telephone today, said she also wants an apology.

“I’m not waiting or holding my breath to receive an apology from Bill James,” she said. “I’m not sure he understands what it means, because his values are so different from the rest of society.”

The incident occurred while commissioners were debating whether to grant domestic partner benefits to county employees in same-sex relationships. They approved the measure in a 6-3 vote along party lines.

Leake, a Democrat who voted to approve the measure, had just finished an impassioned speech about her son, who she said died of AIDS. At that point, James, a Republican who opposed the measure, leaned over and whispered: “Your son was a homo, really?”

A visibly angry Leake responded: “Don’t make me hurt you. Don't do that to me! Don't talk about my son!"

The exchange was picked up by the commissioners’ open microphones but did not disrupt the proceedings.

Meanwhile, Commission Chairwoman Jennifer Roberts was quoted today as saying that James should apologize to Leake.

Roberts told Qcitymetro that she would consult with other board members about appropriate steps.

"I think it is important to have some kind of response," she said. "My hope is that it will not become a partisan issue. It's about humanity."

Roberts said it's possible that James was unaware that the term is considered by some to be insensitive.

The Tuesday night incident was not the first time that James had made controversial remarks.

He sent out an email in 2004 saying that black children in urban settings live in a "moral sewer" with parents who lack the desire to act properly. Despite widespread condemnation, he never apologized.

“He’s had the liberty to say what he will and do what he wishes, and I think he’s very much out of order,” Leake said of James.

An email to James was not immediately returned. County employees said his county phone was not set up to accept messages.

James released a statement, however, calling Leake a "religious hypocrite," noting that she was once married to an AME Zion Bishop, a church that “historically opposed homosexuality.”

James’ statement, in part, is printed below:

***

"In justifying her position last night in public she used her son's 'lifestyle' and his death from HIV-AIDS to justify voting for benefits to allow individuals to use tax dollars to engage in the same behavior that resulted in her son's death.

"It is akin to someone whose son is an alcoholic and died from the disease, using his death from drinking as justification to have the taxpayers pay for more booze.

"Her position was that her 'faith' demanded that she do this to support her son and his 'lifestyle' which she acknowledges killed him.

"In doing so, it is legitimate to ask her what 'lifestyle' and in particular whether her son was a homosexual. Her response was to threaten me with physical violence (typical for her). Of course, this isn't the first time she has threatened elected officials. On the School Board she had a long and checkered history threatening to harm those she disagrees with.

"Well, if she didn’t want to make her 'son' an issue – why did she use him, his lifestyle and his tragic self-inflicted death from AIDS as the reason for her vote?"

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