To: Bill James
Mecklenburg Board of County Commissioners

Dear Bill,

I drove past Sharon Memorial Park today.

It’s a massive cemetery that sits at the corner of Sharon Amity and Monroe roads in east Charlotte. If you’ve ever seen it, I’m sure it left an impression.

I hate the place, and yet I can’t divert my eyes. It reminds me, I suppose, of life’s inescapable conclusion.

No matter the time, I can never pass without spotting a new tent or two, or workmen on backhoes digging a fresh pit.

I’m sure you’re wondering by now why I’m telling you this.

Because one day, Bill, you, too, will rest in a quiet spot such as that. And how, then, will the world remember you?

No, I’m not talking about what Wikipedia will say concerning the facts of your life, or even what words your friends and co-workers may utter at your grave. We rarely speak ill of the dead, not even about the disdained among us.

I mean, what will people feel deep inside when they recall your words and your deeds?

You did a bad thing Tuesday night when you referred to fellow commissioner Vilma Leak’s dead son as a “homo.” And now you refuse to apologize.

This is not a letter trying to convince you that your convictions on homosexuality are wrong. Reasonable men do differ on such thorny issues. And they certainly may differ on whether it is right, fair or prudent for the county to extend to its gay employees domestic-partner benefits.

But what men and women of goodwill don’t do -- mustn’t do -- is say or do things that are hurtful to their fellow way travelers.

I’m sure I’ll take some heat for saying this, Bill, but I don’t believe that you set out to hurt Mrs. Leake. You probably blurted out without thinking. You may have even thought it funny.

But from the mouth, secrets of the heart are revealed.

You’ve said some hurtful things before, like the time in 2004 when you said Charlotte’s black, urban children live in a “moral sewer.”

Before you formed those words, did you stop to consider the countless urban families – the vast majority, in fact – who struggle daily to instill in their children the same Judeo-Christian values that you, no doubt, espouse in your suburban home?

If you get a chance this week, drive by Sharon Memorial Park or some quiet cemetery closer to your home. Imagine this world after your life is through.

Will you be pleased with the contributions you made to the human dialogue? Will you feel good about the press clippings you leave for your children to read, and your children’s children?

Martin Luther King Jr. was right: “The arch of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” History is not kind to those who spew hate, even in defense of heart-felt beliefs.

Saying I’m sorry won’t make you less of a man, or diminish what you ultimately believe. It’s simply an acknowledgement that your words had an unintended effect. We’ve all been there.

It’s time to grow up, Bill.

Apologize to Vilma Leake.