I called a friend last week to give him the business about Tiger Woods.

Both men attended Stanford University: My friend earned an MBA there. Tiger, he pointed out, did not graduate.

Still, I said, you’d think a school as prestigious as Stanford could produce a better liar than Mr. Woods. No one but the most gullible believes that Tiger has told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth concerning what happened in his driveway the night after Thanksgiving.

But you won’t find me among the crowd calling for him to come clean.

In fact, my advice to Tiger is this: Keep your mouth shut. And whatever you do, make no additional statements to law enforcement officials.

First of all, it’s nobody’s business but theirs if his wife decided to take a nine iron to the back of his SUV as he sped down the driveway at 2:30 in the morning (the most likely scenario). I know reasonable men and women can differ on this point, especially as it hints of domestic violence. Jimi Izrael of TheRoot.com offers a totally different perspective.

But my big reason for advising Tiger to keep quiet has more to do with what he – or his wife -- may have already told investigators.

Having a fender-bender, when last I checked, was not a crime. At worst, police issue you a ticket for wreckless driving and you walk away. End of story. Unless your name is Tiger Woods.

Lying to investigators, however, is still very much against the law.

Depending on what Tiger or his wife already said, one or both might face criminal charges if investigators conclude that their initial statements, shall we say, shaded the truth. It’s often the lie/coverup that gets us indicted, not the initial deed. (Remember Kwame Kirkpatrick and Barry Bonds?)

Writing this column puts me in an awkward position: I support law enforcement and believe strongly that each of us has a moral and civic duty to help police solve crimes. I have little patience with those in our community who seem to love criminals more than cops. And I certainly don’t advocate aggression to solve marital woes.

But under our Constitution, even the founding fathers had the wisdom to know that government should not compel us toward self-incrimination.

So, Tiger, keep your mouth shut. And next time you tick off your wife, lock your clubs away first, or learn to drive faster.